Helping Kids Deal with Worry and Anxiety

Little kids experience big emotions, and sometimes they need help dealing with them. Worry and anxiety, are two emotions we can teach them to work through in a healthy way.

Working with kids in the foster care system has a unique set of problems, and yet the tools we can use to help them apply to any child anywhere. Each tool may resonate differently with each child. You may need to try a few different ones in order to find the right fit.

The Worry Monster

Meet Guillermo, his name means “determined protector,” which I thought was very fitting since his job is to help my kids deal with big emotions. He is my buddy and has a special place in my office. He sits on my sofa where we have counseling sessions, and very often gets hugs from kids that are squirmy and uncomfortable. The kids know that Guillermo helps me to make sure they feel better.

Guillermo has a secret though. He is not only an excellent hugger, and super soft, but his mouth is a pocket. I explain to each child who enters my office that Guillermo is our worry monster. We can write down anything we are worried about and he will hold it for us in his mouth. He keeps our worries for us so we don’t have to hold onto them ourselves.

Sometimes my kids like to write a prayer that asks God for help with their worries. It calms them to know Guillermo is holding their prayer for them.

I have some kids who write a note for Guillermo every time they are in my office, and others who never give him a second glance. Not every tool will work with every kid.

Mindfulness

Mindfulness is another one of my favorite tools. I have the kids sit comfortably and model what I want them to do. In a calm, quiet voice I tell them:

– to feel the sofa below their legs supporting them
– to feel the sofa behind them against their backs
– to feel their feet on the floor
– we practice breathing slowly in through the nose and out through the mouth (in 1-2-3-4 and out 1-2-3-4)
– if thoughts enter their mind i tell them to push them to one side for later (if they don’t consciously do this, they will find themselves making lists, replaying events in their minds, worrying about friends or school, etc)
– I tell them to focus on the breath- entering their lungs and then letting it out.

I spend a couple minutes in silence, and then quietly remind them to push other thoughts from their mind. From experience, I know how easily those other thoughts want to creep back in, so a reminder helps get them back on track!

Mindfulness and Faith

If the child is a Christian, and finds comfort in their faith, I add scripture to the mix. Psalm 91:1 (notice 9-1-1…its where I teach them to go in case of “emergencies”) is my go to. I read the entire psalm out loud for the kids while they sit quietly and listen, and then I have them close their eyes while I read it again. After that we have our quiet time mentioned above. I tell them if there was a part of the Psalm that sticks with them, they can focus on that and their breathing. This has been one of my most effective tools!

I also explain to the kids that in today’s world our brains are always spinning and spinning. With TV, cell phones, video games, computers etc, we are training our brains to run and run. I describe that it feels like our whole body is vibrating. However, practicing mindfulness is exercise for our brain. By allowing our brains time to be quiet and still, we are turning off the vibration. We are able to quiet our entire body. We are training our brains to be in the moment and not worrying about what might happen. After all, anxiety is worrying about the future. Bringing ourselves back to the present can help tone down, or even turn off those anxious feelings.

Teach the kids

It is amazing how helpful it can be just to teach our kids about anxiety. If they can learn to recognize their feelings, they will know to pull out their “tools” in order to feel better. Often I explain to my kids that emotions are super helpful and important, but sometimes they get really big and try to control everything. With our tools we can learn to take control again.

I have many more tools I would love to share, but I will probably have to write another post to do it!

What are some of the best ways you have found to help your kids deal with their big emotions?

Helping Kids Deal with Worry and Anxiety